Faith, Desperation and Tragedy.

 “Jaimati’s neighbour, Vineeta Devi, makes an offering, too. Within minutes, Jaimanti’s body is covered with more than 25 sarees. Vineeta Devi observes this with regret : “In life, she had only two or three sarees.”

(The godman who failed his devotees, The Hindu, July 6, 2024.)

(image of a religious congregation)

The ground zero report of the horrific Hathras (UP) stampede ends on this horrific note. With 121 dead, mostly women, and the godman on the run, all sections of society have expressed their condolences for the deceased and condemned the godman and the government according to their perspectives on the incident.

While the incident has deeply shaken my conscience, I don't intend to recount what most newspapers have already covered. Some blame it on crowd mismanagement, pointing fingers at the state administration's apathy towards the lives of the poor, while others call for strict punishment for the self-styled godman, accusing him of deceiving people in the name of religion.

Not being an expert on these matters of religion or law and order, I wonder why such a large number of people would risk their lives just to catch a glimpse and collect the soil on which the godman walked. Or, to put it more broadly and simply, why do so many of us seek refuge in people, ideas, acts, and ideologies that, to a logical mind, seem pure nonsense? I do not claim expertise in this matter either; I am just wondering, shocked, and sorry.

Tracing the evolution of human civilization, we see that the concept of supernatural powers entered our lives in various forms. Initially, anything more powerful than us was deemed godlike or even a god. The Vedic people, terrified by eclipses, rainstorms, droughts, and other natural phenomena, began worshipping the Sun, Indra, Agni, mountains, and more. Later, these powers took human forms and became integral to our existence. Rites and rituals dedicated to the supernatural and almighty gods took various forms around the world, sometimes to the extent of risking human life. Yuval Noah Harari described the formation of religion as the creation of a story that helped people unite.

These stories took different forms, but central to all was the existence of something more powerful than us, something that could alleviate all our fears and pains, give us freedom from worries, and fulfill our hopes. I won't delve into the philosophical or spiritual aspects of this story; our focus here is on the religious part, which mainly centers on relieving people from sorrows and pains. Many villagers use opium for body pain, and the opium does provide temporary relief.

At this juncture, I recall Karl Marx's words about religion: "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people."

Anjali, a neighbor of a victim in Hathras, said, “The men here find solace in alcohol, while women search for peace at these satsangs (the religious gatherings like the one mentioned at the start).” The sign of the oppressed creature. 

A peculiar aspect of deaths in such scenarios is that most victims come from vulnerable sections of society, with women being among the most vulnerable. In almost all sections, the position of women is relatively weaker, and among vulnerable sections, they are the most vulnerable.

Women in these sections face heightened vulnerability due to intersecting factors like caste, poverty, and limited access to education, healthcare, and legal resources, leading to violence, discrimination, and exploitation being the norms throughout their lives. This is the banality of evil.

Amidst these moments comes a promise of relief in the form of religion, such babas, and addictions. I have experienced this personally when my mother had severe asthma, and my family would do anything to get her the slightest relief. We went on pilgrimages and worshipped various gods and goddesses in the hope of alleviating her suffering. She eventually passed away peacefully in a hospital, and the illusion of such supernatural powers that could cure her broke down for me.

The real question should not be why those killed there risked their lives for a handful of soil walked upon by the godman. The real question is, how miserable are their lives that even the slightest hope of illusory relief makes them do it? How long have they been trapped in those chains that they no longer want to break them, but just want to get high, addicted to such religious practices, as long as they are alive?

You would rarely see anyone from an elite, powerful, and rich background succumbing to such a thing. For the weak, the state/government is Maai Baap or God. But for the powerful, the capitalist, the state is just an executive committee. The powerful have conquered the frontiers of worldly miseries and can afford the cure for almost all their pains. No intermediary’s promise of a greater life would enchant them. Their addictions are greater—knowledge, money, fame, prestige, drugs, power, etc. The powerful don't need most of those who appear as gods to the weak, for those gods themselves bow down to money and the power of money. Power conquers all fears and miseries.

दिल्ली की खबरें और भाईचारावाद

"चुनाव के जब दो दिन रह गए तो दोनों ओर से काफ़ी सरंजाम दिखायी दिए। लोगों ने चीख-चीखकर इन्कलाब ज़िन्दाबाद के नारे लगाए, एक-दूसरे की माँ-बहिनों में दिलचस्पी दिखानेवाली बातें कहीं, अपनी-अपनी लाठियों में तेल लगाया, भाले-बल्लमों को चमकाकर उन्हें लाठियों में फिट किया और जान हथेली पर रखकर उसी हथेली में गाँजे की चिलम पकड़ ली।"

- राग दरबारी, श्री लाल शुक्ल

(चित्र- देश दुनिया को बदलने के उद्देश्य से चुनाव में ढपली बजाते JNU के विद्यार्थी ) 

शुक्ल जी की कालजयी कृति में चुनाव का जो विवरण मिलता है, वो अपने आप में एक जीवंत चित्र है, भारत के राजनितिक, आर्थिक, सांस्कृतिक और भारतीयों के मानसिक ढांचे का।  चूँकि अब देश में अठारवी लोकसभा का चुनाव आ रहा है तो हमें इस समय कुछ देश के मुद्दों पर चर्चा जरूर करनी चाहिए।  

लेखक आपको पहले ही बता देना चाहता है कि उसका उद्देश्य आपके मताधिकार के प्रयोग में किसी भी तरह से बदलाव लाना नहीं है। हम मात्र कुछ घटनाओं को देखने का प्रयत्न करेंगे। 

अब चूंकि पहला मामला इतना जरूरी नहीं है तो हम सीधे दूसरे मामले से शुरू करते है।

दूसरा मामला ये सुनने को आया कि राष्ट्रीय "फूल" बेचने और अंग्रेजी वाला फूल बनाने वाली एक कंपनी को सड़के, कम्प्यूटर, स्टील आदि आदि बनाने वाली बहुत सी कम्पनियो ने बहुत सारा पैसा दिया है। बात का पता तब चला जब दिल्ली में ब्लू लाइन पे स्थित एक मेट्रो स्टेशन के नाम वाले कोर्ट में काला कोट पहनकर बैठने वाले पांचो ने "लंच ब्रेक" में व्यस्त रहने वाली एक संस्था से एक रैपिड फायर राउंड खेला। 

पंच - "मिस्टेक माने?"

संस्था -"भूल"

पंच - "ठन्डे को अंग्रेजी में कहते है?

संस्था - " कूल"

पंच - "ये बाते सारी?"

संस्था- "उल जुलूल"

पंच - " सबसे महंगा? "

संस्था - " फूल ?" अरे , नहीं नहीं पेट्रोल...

बस इतने में वहां मौजूद नारद मुनि के वंशजो ने हाथो हाथ पुरे देश में आग कि तरह ये बात फैला दी कि फूल वाला फ़क़ीर नहीं बहुत पैसे वाला है। मेरे एक साथी ने कहा कि ये तो झूठ है, इतने पैसे तो होते ही नहीं है। लेकिन हंगामा बहुत हो रहा। अल्हड संत भूरमल जी झोलेश्वर ने सत्य ही कहा था, किसी को किसी की तरक्की हजम नहीं होती।  उसी दिन मैंने ठान लिया था कि सबको यहीं बताऊंगा कि मेरे SBI अकाउंट में तो पंद्रह सौ सैतालिस से ज्यादा एक पैसा नहीं है, जो कि एकदम सच ही है। अर्थात हमने तरक्की की ही नहीं, किसी का हाजमा क्यों ख़राब करना भला।

खैर, इस बात पर खाली "हाथ" वाले लोगों ने बहुत हंगामा किया। उनकी शक्ल से लग रहा था कि बहुत गरम हो रहे है, इसीलिए "तुम कमाओ, हम खाओ" जैसे समाजवादी विचारो से प्रेरित निकास, अर्थात आयकर विभाग ने उनका बटुआ फ्रीज़ में रख दिया। अब वो खाली हाथ मसलते रह गए । सूत्र ये भी बता रहे है कि आने वाले मेले में उनके युवा हामिद को बहुत सरे खिलोने लेने थे, लेकिन लग रहा है अब वो अपनी बूढी अम्मा के लिए चिमटे के आलावा कुछ और नहीं ले पाएंगे। शायद इसी बहाने प्रेमचंद की आत्मा शांति मिल जाए। 

नारद मुनि के वंशज अर्थात कुछेक अख़बार वाले रात दिन इस बात से परेशान रहते है कि धर्म जातिवाद के कीचड़ में लिपटे मैले, भ्रष्ट और गुंडागर्दी वाले सारे लोग आकर फूल वालों के साथ मिल रहे है । इससे आने वाले मेले में फूल वालों की दूकान ज्यादा चलेगी, लेकिन कुछ लोगों का यह मानना है की इतने तेजस्वी लोगों के लिए एक एकदम उचित स्थान फूल बागानी का धंधा ही है। दाग लगे तो आप कह सकते हो कि फूलों की क्यारिओं को सँभालते लग गया, कोई अज्ञानी या धर्म विरुद्ध बोलें तो आप फूल लेकर मंदिर जा सकते हो। और अगर कोई आपके कहे अनुसार गानो पर ताक धिन्न ना करें तो उन्हें अंग्रेजी वाले "ED शरीन" के गाने सुनने पर मजबूर कर सकते हो। 

एकदम तजा समाचार तो ये है कि देश के सबसे बड़े "झाड़ूवाले" को हाल ही में तिहाड़ जेल भेज दिया गया है , बताया जा रहा है कि जेल प्रशासन जेल के अंदर साफ़ सफाई को लेकर काफी चिंतित थे। अतः उपाय ये निकला गया कि झाड़ू के राष्ट्रीय प्रमुख को ही बुला दिया जाए । आखिर देश हमारा है, जेलें हमारी है, जेल के अंदर बैठे लोग हमारे है तो किस बात कि दिक्कत..? 

दूसरी तरफ वामपंथियों के गढ़ माने जाने वाले JNU  में भी हाल ही में चुनाव की ख़बरें जोरो पर है। ये आर्टिकल लिखे जाने तक चुनाव के मतों की गणना नहीं हुई थी, इसलिए उसके बारे में कुछ भी कहना उचित नहीं होगा। लेकिन देश की ही दूसरी प्रसिद्द यूनिवर्सिटी, अर्थात डेल्ही यूनिवर्सिटी के युवाओ के कुछ विचारो को हमने हाल ही सुना। विचार ओजस्वी और तेजस्वी थे। 

उन्होंने बताया कि उनका ग्रेजुएशन से कोई लेना देना नहीं है, क्युकी वो तो BA में पढ़ते है। वो JNU चुनाव के दौरान, भाईचारे के खातिर JNU  आए थे। JNU जैसे नॉन-socialisation वाली जगह को DU कि तरह डेमोक्रेटिक होने में बहुत समय लगेगा । भाईचारावाद जोर शोर से उनकी आंखों और WhatsApp स्टेटस पर झलक रहा था।

भाईचारावाद देश कि प्रमुख राजनितिक विचारधाराओ में से एक है। इस विचारधारा की शक्ति इस बात में निहित है कि अगर दो बहने भी आपस में सहयोग करती है तो उसे भी भाईचारा ही बोला जाता है। DU के एक मेधावी छात्र ने इस विचारधारा को समझाते हुए बताया कि "बड़े भाई ने जो कहा है उसका फुल सपोर्ट है।" भले ही वो बात उसको पता ही नहीं क्या है । 

भाईचारावाद धर्म, जाति, राज्य को नहीं देखता (कभी कभी देख भी लेता है, ऐसा कोई एकदम मना नहीं है, मतलब liberal attitude है), देखता है तो सिर्फ बौद्धिक स्तर । अगर आपके मानसिक विकास का स्तर उनके मानसिक विकास के आस पास ही विचरण करता हो और आपके दिमागी घोड़ा कभी उनसे आगे ना जाए सके, तो आप निच्शित ही भाईचारावाद के कर्मठ सैनिक बन सकते है। 

जहाँ एक तरफ JNU के चुनावों में वामपंथी ढपली बजाकर, पर्चे छापकर, वाद विवाद करके अपना चुनाव आयोजित करवाते है, वहीँ, DU के चुनावो में भाईचारवाद और पैसावाद मुख्य भूमिका निभाता है। DU से पढ़कर आए मित्रो ने बताया कि भाईचारवादी लोग चुनावों में शुक्ल जी के शुरुआत वाले वर्णन को तो चरितार्थ को करते ही है, इसके अलावा महिला सशक्तिकरण के हेतु भी कदम उठाते है। इसी कड़ी में वो महिला मतदाताओं के लिए कभी सिनेमा, कभी इटालियन तीखा घेवर अर्थात पिज्जा और फ्री दवा दारु का इंतजाम करते है। 

अब चूंकि देश को चुनाव करना है तो जाहिर सी बात है DU के भाईचारा वादी मॉडल को भी कुछ जगह मिले। इस मॉडल में देश की तरक्की है, जीडीपी ग्रोथ है, फूलों की सजावट है, हवाई जहाज में उड़ती फकीरी है, गांजे की चिलम से आया अल्हड़पन है और न जाने क्या क्या है। और सबसे ऊपर भाईचारे का atitude है।

याद रखिए, DU के एक उभरते युवा नेता के टीशर्ट पे लिखा था  "Education is important, but attitude is importanter".

धन्यवाद

- D Ram

नोट- ये लेखक की निजी टिप्पणी और मौलिक विचार है (शायद)।

जड़-चेतन का जनरेशन गैप

श्री लाल शुक्ल जी के बहु चर्चित उपन्यास 'राग दरबारी' में पुरानी पीढ़ी और नयी पीढ़ी के बीच के द्वन्द को बताया गया है वो काफी रोचक है।  शहरों का वाद विवाद पुरानी और नयी पीढ़ी को लेकर उजागर हो रहा है। उसके पीछे पुरानी पीढ़ी का यह विश्वास है कि हम बुद्धिमान है और हमारे बुद्धिमान हो चुकने के बाद दुनिया से बुद्धि नाम का तत्त्व ही समाप्त हो गया।  नयी पीढ़ी के लिए एक कतरा भी नहीं बचा है। 

दूसरी और नयी पीढ़ी कि यह आस्था है कि पुरानी पीढ़ी जड़ है जबकि हम चेतन।  

(फोटो- जिसका यहाँ पर कोई औचित्य नहीं है) 

आपकी जानकारी के लिए मै इन दो शब्दों का अर्थ स्पष्ट कर दूँ जड़ पदार्थ वे होते हैं जिनमें ज्ञान और प्रयत्न नहीं पाया जाता. जड़ पदार्थ स्थायी होते हैं और उनमें स्वतंत्र क्रियाएं नहीं होतीं. उदाहरण के लिए, पत्थर, मिट्टी, पहाड़ आदि जड़ पदार्थ हैं.

चेतन पदार्थ वे होते हैं जिनमें ज्ञान और प्रयत्न पाया जाता है. इनमें सुख-दुख और इच्छा-द्वेष जैसे संयोग से उत्पन्न गुण भी पाए जाते हैं. चेतना जीवन की पहचान और संचालन करने की क्षमता होती है. । 

अक्सर आपने और हमने यह माना है कि हमसे जो बड़े है वो एकदम स्टेटस क़ुओइस्ट अर्थात यथापूर्व स्थिति  में बने रहने वाले है, वो बदवाल से डरते है, जबकि पुराने लोगो ने हमें इसी बात के लिए मुर्ख समझा है कि हम बनी बनाई व्यवस्था को बिगाड़ने पे तुले हुए है।  यह बात बहुत आम है कि एक पढ़े लिखे आदमी को कोई सच बोलने पर ताना मिल जाए कि ज्यादा पढ़ लिख लिया है, भले ही उसकी बात सत्य हो, भले उसकी बात तार्किक हो। दूसरी तरफ पुरानी पीढ़ी इस बात कि ना सिर्फ उम्मीद करती है, बल्कि अपना हक़ समझती है कि अगर वो कोई अतार्किक बात भी कर दें, तो नयी पीढ़ी उसको सर झुका कर मान ले। 

ये द्वन्द जीवन के बहुत से आयामो में देखा जाता है, जैसे डॉन ब्रॅडमन या सचिन तेंदुलकर को मिलने वाले तमगे आने वाली पीढ़ी के खिलाड़िओ को नहीं मिलेंगे, जैसे हर परीक्षा का अभ्यर्थी अपने से पिछली कक्षा वाले अभ्यर्थी को एक बार जरूर बोलता है कि हमारे टाइम में बहुत मुश्किल था, अब एकदम आसान है। जो बात मैंने बहुत बार सुनी है, वो यह है कि वो लड़का पढ़ा लिखा तो है, पर समझदार नहीं है, हमारे टाइम के पांचवी पास भी इससे ज्यादा जानते थे जितना आज के IIT वाले जानते है। 

पुरानी पीढ़ी के चोर चोर होते थे, डाकू डाकू होते थे, उनकी चोरिया ऐतिहासिक महत्व की होती थी। चोरी करने वाले ईमानदारी से चुपचाप चोरी करते थे, मार कुटाई से कोसो दूर रहते थे।  डाकू ओमपुरी डाका डालने से पहले शगुन बांचते थे, और चम्बल के बीहड़ वाले डकैत नहीं, बागी होते थे।  बीस पच्चीस लोगो को मारा होता था, लेकीन भले आदमी थे वो। आजकल के UPI फ्रॉड तो फर्जीवाड़ा है।  

शहरो वाली पुरानी पीढ़ी को पता होता था कि ये प्लाट जो अभी आठ हजार का मिल रहा है, कुछ सालो बाद ढाई करोड़ का हो जाएगा, लेकिन उन्होंने इसलिए नहीं ख़रीदा कि इतने धन का क्या करेंगे।  अपरिग्रह का सिद्धांत सर्वोपरि होता था, उसकी पुष्टि आप अक्सर घर की सफाई या खुदाई में मिलने वाले सिक्को से कर सकते है। आजकल की पीढ़ी तो व्यर्थ ही पचीस तीस साल तक पढाई करती रहती है, उनके ज़माने में आठवीं फ़ैल होते ही काम शुरू कर देने का नियम था। इसी का नतीजा है कि लाख दो लाख तो चलते फिरते दान कर सकते है वो, लेकिन पांच सात किताबे आज भी फालतू कि वास्तु लगती है उन्हे।  

पुरानी पीढ़ी में वैज्ञानिकता कूट कूट कर भरी थी, आजकल जो आप जर्दा मसलते हुए किसी सज्जन को देखते है तो वो वास्तव में वैज्ञानिकता को कूट कर हजम करने की आदत के शिकार है, न कि जर्दा खाने की। कोरोना के समय एक पुराने वैज्ञानिक ने मुझे बताया कि जो औरतें हमारे समाज में घूँघट निकालती है, वो असल में हमारे पूर्वजो ने उनको ऐसे रोगो से बचाए रखने के लिए ही ईजाद किया था।  उस क्षण मुझे यह हार्दिक इच्छा हुई कि इस महान व्यक्ति को एक सतरंगी लहरिया भेंट कर दूँ।  

राग दरबारी के ही एक पात्र दुरबीनसिंह पुरानी पीढ़ी की महानता के अभूतपूर्व उदाहरण है । जब गाँधी ने नमक कानून तोडा तब वो IPC की सभी धाराओं को एक एक करके तोड़ने का बुनियादी काम कर रहे थे। पुरानी पीढ़ी दुर्बनीसिंह की तरह दूर का देखती है, भले ही उनकी दूर की नजर साफ़ ना हो। उनकी वैज्ञानिकता ही समाज में स्थापित ऊँच-निच वाले सिस्टम का ताना बाना बनाती है। जैसे आप घोड़ो, गधों और खच्चरों को समान नहीं कह सकते, उसी तरह पंडित रामलाल, ठाकुर रणधीर और गंगू तेली को सामान नहीं कह सकते। ऐसा कह देना, जो की आजकल की पीढ़ी कर रही है, वास्तव में तर्क विरुद्ध है और बनी बनाई परम्पराओ का खिलवाड़ है। 

ये पीढ़ीओ के बिच में उभरे हुए तनाव का एक दिनभर मोबाइल में  लगे रहने का नतीजा है। खासकर तब जब पुरानी पीढ़ी व्हाट्सप्प यूनिवर्सिटी से अपनी पीएचडी पूरी करने के अंतिम पड़ाव पे हो और नयी पीढ़ी किसी कॉलेज से बस डिग्री कर रही हो। कुछ विषयो पर दोनों पीढ़ीओ में सामंजस्य तब ही बन सकता है, जब या तो नयी पीढ़ी अपनी डिग्री को आग लगा कर कम से कम व्हाट्सप्प यूनिवर्सिटी से डिप्लोमा कर दें, या पुरानी पीढ़ी व्हाट्सप्प यूनिवर्सिटी से अपनी अर्जी वापस लेकर दो चार किताबे भी पढ़ लें। 

चूँकि दोनों ही स्थितियां जटिल जान पड़ती है, इसलिए हम इस तनाव का सामना करते रहेंगे। 

अगर आप मुझसे छोटे है तो ज्ञान ना दें, क्योकि ज्ञान बनने की क्रिया वैज्ञानिको ने मुझे बताने के बाद बंद कर दी थी। आपको जो मिला है वो सिर्फ वहम है, और आपने खुद से कुछ सिख लिया है, ये आपका अहम् है। 

अगर आप मुझसे बड़े है तो भी ज्ञान ना दें, आप जड़ हो चुके है, आप नहीं समझेंगे कि अतार्किक बात करके भी तर्क को रखा जा सकता है । आप बस थोड़ा इल्लॉजिकल सोच कर तो देखिये। 

और यदि आप दोनों ही स्थितियों के परे है, ना जड़ है, ना चेतन है, तो निश्चित ही आप एक अवतार है। 

- D Ram

I, an Examination.

Hello,

To those who are taking an exam (or exam is taking theirs).

To whosoever this may/ may not concern, I am "The Examination." Yes, you read that correctly. I am penning down this autobiographical letter to those who encounter me at various junctures in their lives. I am not a specific type of exam but rather an exam in general, intricately woven into the fabric of your existence and serving as a pivotal element in the journeys of countless individuals.

My presence is felt at every significant turn in your journey, eliciting a range of emotions such as excitement, fear, or nervousness depending on the level of your preparation. 

But who am I? 

     (pic- a random pic of exam hall from internet) 

I am more than the culmination of print on paper or a set of questions; I am a living testament to the evolution of those who engage with me. Whether by choice or circumstance, you cannot avoid encountering me. Some exams are taken by choice, driven not just because Papa said (The JBPS category) but by the inherent necessity to prove oneself (You act because you must.)

In any case, I remain an exam, duty-bound to scrutinize, evaluate, and sometimes humble individuals before they are entrusted with responsibilities and powers. like exam assessing your driving skills before allowing you to navigate the roads—a fair and necessary measure. I exist, I guess, as a necessary evil for you.

Engaging with me is not everyone's forte, and success is not guaranteed each time. There is a myriad of factors in the checklist—understanding the demands, thorough preparation, effective practice, navigating the objectivity-subjectivity conundrum, and managing time and pressure. Depending on the level at which you engage, I evolve. Just when you think you have mastered me, I raise the bar. My existence is a narrative interwoven with the dreams, struggles, triumphs, and disasters of those who dare to face me.

I adhere to the principle of "equality before the exam" rather than "equal protection from results," although I humble everyone. No great soul has been spared by me; all the renowned figures, you have ever heard of, have faced failure in my assessments more often than they have succeeded. It was not desire that paved their way but the humble acknowledgment of their ignorance, a solemn pledge of dedication , and the perseverance that made them worthy of my blessings.

Why should you care about facing me, the exam?

This question may seem inconsequential, but it merits attention. A sage from centuries past imparted wisdom to a troubled soldier in battlefield, and I'll paraphrase to retain the essence: "No mortal has the choice of not taking an action (or an exam). You can choose a different action, but never 'no-action' because your very existence compels you to act. Wise it is to perform the right action."

I leave it to your judgment to determine what is "right." Regardless, whatever you decide, you will inevitably encounter me—a plethora of my avtars. The question of whether you should care about facing me is nonconsequential; instead, you should consider what kind of exams you should choose, as "No-exam" is never an option.

As someone once said, "Choose your battles wisely. After all, life isn't measured by how many times you stood up to fight, but by how many times you took the high road and turned the other way."

What do I expect from you?

While i can give you some points, this is not the end of it. You must, update, upgrade and refine whatever, whenever, your experience tells otherwise- 

1. Consistency- In preparation. The mindset has to be of the soldier, who takes the command at the very moment the order is passed. Don’t fool yourself by assumption that if you miss it one day, or a week or a month, you would make it up. Every moment leading to any exam is as important as the moment just before it. 
2. Casual approach- if the exam you are taking is a serious one, casual approach would throw you back to square one, every time. You have to improve each aspect every single time someone points out to you. 
3. Complete attention- if you have something that takes your time and attention other than the your targeted exam, it would be reflected in your performance. Some investments in life are zero sum. You put your currency there, you lose the outcome here and vice versa. 
4. Every aspect of any exam requires equal effort, even where you find you are well prepared. If your forte is your memory, hone up your presentation skills. If you are pro at handling crisis, work on maintaining calm. 
5. Your physical and mental status in the time leading to the exam reflect in your performance. The mind that guides you, the body that functions for you, require adequate nourishment, rest, care and exercise to perform at their best. Read this again. 
6. In any serious exam, there is a 90-99% chance of failure despite your best efforts. The stats are like that. Majority of the competitors would inevitably make part of this lot. This hits harder than simply said. And being in the majority doesn't feel good here, you certainly don't like democracy this way. 
7. There would always be distractions everywhere. They would occupy a place in your mind. While most of them you can ignore, some would just be part of your existence. You can never control them, you can never stop them. You would be lucky, if you can at best minimize the damage they cause. The resistance would backfire, it always does. Your real exam would be to remain calm and composed amidst all that chaos that you have to go through. 
8. Mistakes would be part and parcel of whole process. Its like a twin born of efforts. The more you try, the more you fault, the more you improve. They said, “ever tried, ever failed? Try better, fail better?’  
9. Most importantly you don't fail on the day of results, and probably you don't actually fail as such. You just miss the mark, as a result of a combination of various factors, comprehensible and incomprehensible. you can only learn to practice more. Nothing else. 
   
10. You tell me, is it too much to ask?

Let me wind up here for today. Major part of what I have told you is a common knowledge, yet not taken seriously and not applied properly (even by the one who is writing this letter of mine). Will write you more letters, probably. 

With this exchange of our letter, I'll meet you again at some random turn of event, or some exam hall. 

(you may respond to the letter in the comment section. )

Truly Yours, 

Examination. 

Karna’s Odyssey- insights on morality and valour.

My reading of one of the greatest Hindi poem, ‘Rashmirathi’ by Rastrakavi Shree Ramdhari Singh Dinkar. 

"Rashmirathi," often referred to as a Khand Kavya (almost an epic), is a literary masterpiece that transcends the boundaries of epic poetry, coming close to achieving the status of an epic in its own right. Let us go through some of the key themes of the great epic.  

(picture source- Pinterest )

The book starts with the reverence for strength, valour, and the source of power, emphasizing that these qualities are to be admired wherever they are found, just as one would respect a sacred fire.

जय हो जग में जले जहां भी, नमन पुनीत अनल को

जिस नर में भी बसे, हमारा नमन तेज को बल को।

Throughout the book, one can tell, it revolves around the respect and reverence for the moral qualities and righteousness of its central character Karna, the protagonist whose life unfolds as a result of the cruel and seemingly inescapable machinations of destiny. The greatness of the character is such that one is tempted to liken Karna to Krishna, and at times see him in a greater light. 

What makes Karna's character in "Rashmirathi" all the more captivating is his embodiment of unwavering virtues and morality. Despite being subjected to the harshest trials of fate, Karna steadfastly refuses to stray into the realm of unethical means to secure victory in the great war. Even the venerable sage Ved Vyas himself extols Karna's virtues, heralding him as the greatest among humans and the foremost warrior of the Dwapara era. (Not mentioned in this book though). 

Ved Vyas, in his praise of Karna, eloquently states, "Karna, the son of Vikartana possessed a colossal reservoir of energy. In battle, he was to meet his end at the hands of his adversaries. Just as Indra stands preeminent among the gods, Karna was unparalleled among men. Throughout the three realms, none other has been found comparable to these two extraordinary beings.”

Bheeshma likens him to Krishna as he says- 

पार्थोपम रथी, धनुर्धारी,

केशव-समान रणभट भारी,

धर्मज्ञ, धीर, पावन-चरित्र, 

दीनों-दलितों के विहित मित्र,

अर्जुन को मिले कृष्ण जैसे,

तुम मिले कौरवों को वैसे।

Yudhisthira cannot conceive that Arjuna would ever succeed in defeating Karna, and even Krishna himself designates Karna as the epitome of virtuous humanity and a true leader of the world. 

Reflect for a moment on this extraordinary character – the epitome of righteousness – finding himself on the wrong side of history, where destiny orchestrates a sequence of tragic and ironic turns in his life:

1.  Karna, born as the first child of Kunti and the son of the Sun God, is tragically denied his rightful name and status, enduring humiliation throughout his life. However, he never wavers in his commitment to morality, refusing to return to the Pandavas even when Krishna and Kunti implore him to do so just before the Kurukshetra war. In response to Kunti’s request to come back to Pandvas Karna says 

जन्मा लेकर अभिशाप, हुआ वरदानी,

आया बनकर कंगाल, कहाया दानी।

दे दिये मोल जो भी जीवन ने माँगे,

सिर नहीं झुकाया कभी किसी के आगे।

"पर हाय, हुआ ऐसा क्यों वाम विधाता ?

मुझ वीर पुत्र को मिली भीरू क्यों माता ?

2.  Endowed with the divine Kavach and Kundal, the ultimate protective armor, Karna loses it to Indra through deceit. His unwavering commitment to granting any wish to a seeker becomes his lifeline, but he still refuses to retract his promise, giving Indra the Kavach and Kundal.

'एक विनय है और, आप लौटें जब अमर भुवन को,

दें दें यह सूचना सत्य के हित में, चतुरानन को,

'उद्वेलित जिसके निमित्त पृथ्वीतल का जन-जन है,

कुरुक्षेत्र में अभी शुरू भी हुआ नही वह रण है।

'दो वीरों ने किंतु, लिया कर, आपस में निपटारा,

हुआ जयी राधेय और अर्जुन इस रण मे हारा।'

यह कह, उठा कृपाण कर्ण ने त्वचा छील क्षण भर में,

कवच और कुण्डल उतार, धर दिया इंद्र के कर में।

3.  Karna's dedication and hard work enable him to acquire unparalleled archery skills under the tutelage of Guru Parshuram, earning the guru's affection. Yet, a fateful twist of fate occurs when he inadvertently disturbs his guru's sleep, leading to a scorpion bite that reveals his Kshatriya lineage. All his efforts are in vain as he receives a curse from his guru, preventing him from utilizing this knowledge when he needs it most. How tragic. Parshuram says- 

तूने छल किया, दण्ड उसका, अवश्य ही पायेगा,

परशुराम का क्रोध भयानक निष्फल कभी न जायेगा।

'मान लिया था पुत्र, इसी से, प्राण-दान तो देता हूँ,

पर, अपनी विद्या का अन्तिम चरम तेज हर लेता हूँ।

सिखलाया ब्रह्मास्त्र तुझे जो, काम नहीं वह आयेगा,

है यह मेरा शाप, समय पर उसे भूल तू जायेगा।

4. The irony is palpable when Draupadi refuses to let Karna participate in her Swayamvar, withholding his chance to shoot the eye of the fish, only to later express her wish that she had married Karna during their 13th year of exile. This revelation comes to light during a 'truth' test orchestrated by Krishna.
   
   

5. You often must have heard the quote that ‘you must be ready to die for the idea you believe in.’ the greatest people whom we revere were great only because they refused compromise on the values they truly believed in. Karna should be considered as the greatest in that sense. Be it his commitment to Friendship, or charity or ethical ways of war, he never mend his ways. The greatest among warriors roars as- 

असंभव कल्पना साकार होगी,

पुरुष की आज जयजयकार होगी।

समर वह आज ही होगा मही पर,

न जैसा था हुआ पहले कहीं पर ।

चरण का भार लो, सिर पर सँभालो;

नियति की दूतियो ! मस्तक झुका लो ।

चलो, जिस भाँति चलने को कहूँ मैं,

ढलो, जिस माँति ढलने को कहूँ मैं "

6. Paradoxically, Krishna advises Arjuna to employ an unethical strategy, targeting Karna while he is not on his chariot and engaged in the act of removing a stuck wheel. Karna doesnt ask Arjun for mercy, but a righteous war. These are the words of a man who sees his death so close-

'नरोचित धर्म से कुछ काम तो लो !

बहुत खेले, जरा विश्राम तो लो ।

फंसे रथचक्र को जब तक निकालूं,

धनुष धारण करूं, प्रहरण संभालूं,'

'रुको तब तक, चलाना बाण फिर तुम;

हरण करना, सको तो, प्राण फिर तुम ।

नहीं अर्जुन ! शरण मैं मागंता हूं,

समर्थित धर्म से रण मागंता हूं ।'

7. In a climactic turn of events, just before Arjuna beheads Karna, Krishna admonishes Karna for straying from the path of righteousness- 

प्रलापी ! ओ उजागर धर्म वाले !

बड़ी निष्ठा, बड़े सत्कर्म वाले !

मरा, अन्याय से अभिमन्यु जिस दिन,

कहां पर सो रहा था धर्म उस दिन ?

However, the same Krishna praises Karna as the paragon of moral rectitude.

उगी थी ज्योति जग को तारने को ।

न जन्मा था पुरुष वह हारने को ।

मगर, सब कुछ लुटा कर दान के हित,

सुयश के हेतु, नर-कल्याण के हित ।'

8. To end, the character of Karna the central to the semi-epic of Mahabharat, among, if not taller, almost equal to that of Krishna. The greatness of the character of Karna can be summed up as such- 

पर, तब भी रेखा प्रकाश की जहाँ कहीं हँसती है,

वहाँ किसी प्रज्वलित वीर नर की आभा बसती है;

जिसने छोड़ी नहीं लीक विपदाओं से घबराकर ।

दो जग को रोशनी टेक पर अपनी जान गँवाकर ।

I understand, the sophistication level of the Hindi used here was quite high. But I guess, it wouldn't be possible to create such a level of poetry without the use of this level of sophistication.

If you could understand half of what you read here, you must read Rashmirathi.

Do comment on what you liked the most, and what improvements I could incorporate in this write up.

Till we meet again,

D Ram. 

The Sisyphean Pursuit : Nurturing Hope Amidst the Boulders

The other day I came across the saga of Sisyphus. Sisyphus was a king in Greek mythology known for his cunning and deceitful nature. His most famous punishment is described in the work of the ancient Greek philosopher and historian, Homer.

According to the myth, Sisyphus committed various crimes and was condemned to an eternity of punishment in the underworld, specifically in the realm of Hades. His punishment was to roll a massive boulder up a steep hill in the underworld. However, just as he neared the summit and it seemed he would finally complete the task, the boulder would roll back down to the bottom, forcing him to start over again.

The story of Sisyphus is often interpreted as a symbol of the futility of certain human endeavors. Sisyphus eternal task of rolling the boulder represents the never-ending struggle and the repetitive nature of certain aspects of life, where one's efforts may seem ultimately in vain.

If you are doing something for 5 consecutive years, and then starting afresh for the 6th time, it sounds a story similar to Sisyphus. it is the story of my UPSC experiment, which is not over yet. Your First Failure come humbling, second as eye opening, third as shattering. Then onwards, the failures stop being any different, you try harder, fail harder, and probably cry even more, but alone. All the great motivational quotes don’t motivate you anymore, you don’t see any point in attending the ‘toppers talk’. A wise person should listen to those who are better, but sometimes we become too oblivious to what is very obvious, just staying in our own created chamber. 

A sensible person would and should take a serious introspection and course correction after 3 failures at max. I had failed one prelims and two Mains by then. Not because it was something ‘undoable’ but because I didn’t even try to do the ‘doable’ in absence of proper review mechanism. Level of ignorance had no limit, as I cleared prelims of 2019 and till then had not covered the optional.

So logically I should not have repeated the same mistake in 2020. It was the COVID year, and life once seemed nasty, brutish, poor and short (Hobbes said so in context of state of nature, but never-mind.), but at the same time we had plenty of time to cover that. But still I didn’t write any test for mains. So failed the mains 2020 by quite good margin. 

For 2021, I failed the prelims miserably. Rather the only achievement in the year was to get through the MA entrance exam of JNU. And it was the only savior, that revived my UPSC spirit again after the 4th debilitating failure. Sometimes surviving is the greatest achievement. It was that. 

Coming to JNU, it is a fun place. I always felt so blessed to have so many good friends, with whom I could compete, with whom I could talk at length for hours and hours. It happened to be a good break from the monotonous isolated life in a single room. I joined the socialist life with my group of friends, who shared a lot in common. However demanding the day could be, no day there ever passed without laughing our hearts out.  This was also the time to settle the financial worries and reduce the tension of personal battles. 

It probable didn’t solve all the issues, but I learned to prioritize the issues at hand. As they say ‘you can do anything, but not everything’, we must not even attempt to do everything. It spoils even the one thing that we are capable of doing well. So, I somehow started cutting off what I could avoid. It took a long time, but it’s a skill worth learning.

In this zone I got back to UPSC preparation for prelims 2022. Somewhere around Feb 2022. The question pattern changed a bit, it was quite a surprise, but what I felt in exam hall as if I was well prepared for the surprise. Along with the MA classes and work, I had managed to secure decent time on my stopwatch for studying. It paid off and I got through prelims again. 

If it was a Hindi movie script, the hero would clear the mains and interview with good rank in this very attempt. Life, however, isn’t a Hindi film. It has many plots and subplots. There exist some 1000 shades of all colors between the binaries of success and failures. 

Whatever I could do, I did for the mains 2022. Wrote some tests (though much less than what I should have). Long story short, I didn’t qualify even this Mains. Rather the gap between my score and the cut off was way too high. 

So the story of these 5 attempts seemed the saga of Sisyphus. Much like Sisyphus, I embarked on a relentless journey filled with ups and downs, hopes and heartbreaks, determination, and despair. The boulder, our hopes and dreams, feels impossibly heavy at times. Yet, like Sisyphus, we continue to push it, inching ever closer to our goal. 

So here are points that I would like to tell my younger self in 2018-

• You don’t fail on the exam day, you fail in 100 days period prior to it. And it just means you should be able to be consistent for those 100 days, not that you should study 15 hours every day.

• Toppers aren’t coming from other planet, they just somehow maintain the above average level of discipline. They also falter, they also forget, they also feel terribly bad at times, and they also fear the exam as much as you do. 

• Your surroundings and your peace of mind are the most crucial aspects deciding your efficiency. Either you would learn to cut off what’s burdening you, or it would sink you and your hopes.

• Almost all around you are better than you in something. Someone is better in articulation, some other in making good notes, some in recalling facts and some in interpreting things. The point however is, you don’t have to be better than all of them, you just have to be ‘good enough’ in checking off you ‘to-do list’ at the end of the day. Read that again.

• The ‘to-do list’ is the most amazing thing inventing by whoever it was invented. The best way to utilise this, is to realise the 70-80% of its goals. Don’t set too high goals that you don’t even cover 20%, nor too small that you are completing it every day.

• ‘Breaks are must’. They save you from breaking down. Good healthy discussions, laughing out loudly, and talking with those whom you can match your vibes are some good ways of having ‘healthy breaks. When taking breaks, give break to logical mind, think illogically. Just so that you can laugh.

• Writing always help. It is best way to recall things, it calms you down. It improves you expression and it cuts the clutter. It personal battles like case studies to solve. When you write something, it gets broken into parts, and you realise that ‘whole is not bigger than sum of its parts’.

• You can improve a lot in some aspects of life, that doesn’t translate into you doing well in all other aspects of life. Just like that in UPSC mains you don’t get through if you are good in one or two paper, you have to have above average performance in ALL THE PAPERS. So, learn to do justice with all the papers.

• And last but not the least (I don’t know why we use this in last point though), life has thousand ways to make you understand what you need to understand. Until you understand that properly, you don’t go beyond that. 

The journey so far has been one filled with trials and tribulations, moments of doubt and despair, but it has also been a journey of laughs, growth, resilience and perseverance.  Each of those previous attempts has been a stepping stone, probably preparing me for this very moment, when the air is filled with anticipation. 

Thank you if you have read this till here.  you can leave a comment too.

I would like to end this write up  with a poetry by Faiz which I cherish so deeply

अब क्यूँ उस दिन का ज़िक्र करो 
जब दिल टुकड़े हो जाएगा 
और सारे ग़म मिट जाएँगे 
तुम ख़ौफ़-ओ-ख़तर से दर-गुज़रो 
जो होना है सो होना है 
गर हँसना है तो हँसना है 
गर रोना है तो रोना है 
तुम अपनी करनी कर गुज़रो 
जो होगा देखा जाएगा 

- D Ram